Most Have Problem With Relationships By: Satsang: Swami Brahmdev

Question: You have followers from many parts of the world. What kind of problems do they have?
Answer: People all over the world have similar problems. Most of them have to do with relationships and so I say they are self-created. There is  misunderstanding and the relationship breaks down. The person in question suffers from an attachment shock... or the shock that his attachment has been severed without his wanting it to be so. There is mental and emotional imbalance. Different people react to the situation differently...some replace their attachment by getting into a relationship with someone else. Once again  attached, they feel happy. There are some who cannot or are unable to do this and so fall into deep depression. That is when they meet me. Relationships and how to keep them are the main problems.

Question: Why do we have problems with relationships?
Answer: Life is all about connections. Our mental, emotional, physical and psychic selves only establish connections, be it with nature, people or things. We don’t know how to relate to them. We do not build relationships. When we connect with consciousness and awareness with what is around us, only then do we actually relate to them. But we do relate to something and that is our selfish nature. Any action based on the selfish motive will not endure long. We use the word, ‘relationship’ and it sounds beautiful but actually what we are doing is just making arrangements. We want a comfortable life and so we make arrangements that are comfortable. But we don’t have the courage to admit that we have formed a certain relationship for comfort. We fool ourselves into thinking it is love or something more. An arrangement sooner or later breaks down or has to change. Don’t you often re-arrange your furniture?

Our life, built around the idea of comfort, calls for arrangements. From our young years itself, are geared to think of becoming economically independent, have a family and home which is secure... it is all an arrangement. But we have come to feel that this is the only way to live. Because we are tied to such stereotypes, unwilling to look beyond, we suffer. We are so closely related to the sun and to water, for example, but what relationship have we built with them?

Question: How to build a relationship?
Answer: You have to lose your ego and expand your inner self. We respond to all situations based on the limited knowledge that we have. This knowledge too is derived from ignorance because we are basing it on the experience given to us by our senses. Realised knowledge is what has survived through the ages and we revere as scriptures. To lose your ego you have to understand that you do not know everything and so should be flexible, should be willing to go with the flow... to take life as it comes and go where it takes you.

If we cooperate a little with life, it puts us through many situations and pressures. That is what we also call pain. Any pressure awakens you and you are in the present. Nature is trying to guide you to take a U-turn and move inward. With patience you can learn from any situation. If even a small bit of learning establishes itself in you, it will expand your inner self. Then a true relationship will be built with all that is around you, animate or inanimate.