Lessons from Delhi Rape: 10 Suggestions for a Stronger Indian Woman

How to Become Strong --Emotionally? By: Rekha Ramankutty

It is easy to write a script, an article or even enact a drama as how to become strong emotionally. But the truth is facing it in real than in reel. Have we ever known what is our strength and weakness,can we measure it, should we wait for the right time to face a odd or even situation?

Life seems to a jingalala at all times and all of sudden it ends up to be a complete junk of sorrow! Have we forgotten to realize the truth that life is a mixture of doubles-(happiness and sorrow)!

Have you ever thought while reading epics, Lord Sriramji was said to be ever smiling at all times of his life. Was it because he suffering from a smiling syndrome or he was a Purushottham that he could control all emotions. It means he never experienced Navaras! Strange but true.God can do anything right!

Its our Life.We are mere humans. What is our capability! We are destined to Live,Let Live and Continue living.We dont have a choice.  f we have to live we need to survive for our existence. But does survival means killing others and making others weak or does it mean protecting ourselves,serving others and grow and guide all of them.

Human Being is given a choice in life: Do or Die (Karo ya Baro). What do you choose!

In this journey of Life we need to be strong.But How?

Strength implies having power and being able to affect one's own life, while weakness implies being powerless and helpless. Whatever your circumstances, there are things you can control, and things you can't.

The key is to know on the things you can control. Make a list of what is troubling you, then make a list of what you can do to make each situation better. Accept the items on the first list (they are what they are) and focus your energy on the second list.

1. Decision Making: First of all make a decision today that you will be strong and remain so all throughout your life. Let this be your resolution for lifetime.Don't just wish for it. Move away from the contemplation stage and decide you will succeed.

2. Identify your weakness and Improve yourself everyday, even in a small amount. So today you are better than yesterday, and tomorrow you will be better than today.Sometimes (hopefully rarely) we encounter situations in which we really are helpless to enact change, but you are still in control because no matter what, you can always control your attitude towards life.

3. Fear Nothing. If you still fear,hide it,close your eyes,turn this fear weapon in you to a strong weapon of optimism.You've made it this far. You can make it through just one more day. And if you take it just one day at a time, or even one moment at a time, you can survive whatever you're going through. It won't be easy, and you're not invincible, so take baby steps. Take a deep breath,meditate or pray.Tell yourself "I can handle this." Once you've centered yourself, open your eyes and take one more step forward.

4.Never let yourself down in front of others. Remember your act of weakness is their strength.Defend maturely in time of crisis.If somebody is making your life miserable, don't let them crush your spirit. Continue to be proud and have hope and remember that these are the things that no one can take away from you. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.Try not to let a crisis or hardship in one area of your life spill over into other areas of your life. If you're facing great difficulty with work, for instance, don't behave irritably towards your significant other when they've done nothing but try to help. Eliminate the side effects of your hardship by controlling your own attitude.

5.Believe that you are willing to change your emotional perception by being confident,brave and conscious all time.If you’re in the middle of a period of grief or pain that you can’t control, stand aside and let the moment happen. If you are going through a prolonged period of difficulty, remind yourself that this, too, shall pass.A weak person becomes attached to his past troubles and unable to move on while a real strong person decides to let go and to find another way to get what he wants or even a better alternative.Weakness is the stepping stone to gaining strength.

6.Educate Yourself: Each and every new problem you face might require some additional knowledge that you don't currently posses. In order to be really strong in life you need to be able to acquire the right knowledge you need to solve your problems. Be it self defense or a counselling to cope up with depression or learning yoga to control stress etc.Dettach from worldy pleasures,it gives you pain as well as pleasure inorder to control the emotions,cultivate the habit of seeking the inner truth within you through detachment and self knowledge.

7.You are not alone:There is something very powerful about knowing that other people are going through what you are going through. Realizing that you are not alone is an extremely good way to deal with pain and hardships. This idea  to realize that thousands of other people have gone through what you are going through and come out the other end. They have made it through and won. They haven’t died, lost hope or given up. They have faced the very same thing as you (whatever it is) and they have come out the other end.

8.Power of Questions: You need to talk to yourself,question yourself;  find answers from within you. Lot of problems have answers when we question it ourselves.Ask good questions like:

• “How can I enjoy my life today even more?”
• “How can I make this difficult task more enjoyable?”
• “How can I express my love even better?”
• “Where can I look for further improvements?”
• “How can I increase my happiness, strength & vitality today?”
• " What to do to deal with this situation?"
• "How can i conquer my weakness"?

But if you inturn try to ask negative questions you will find more of depression than an answer......

• Why is this always happening to me?”
• “What’s the use of this, anyway?"
• “Why do I have to do this boring thing?”
• " Why me...... God always?I hate you God?"

This won't seem natural at first, but it will get easier. Coach yourself to start talking to yourself differently during a tough time. Say "I can handle this problem," instead of "I know I can't cope with this."

9.Get support: While we ultimately face our own challenges, a supportive friend or group of friends can help lighten the load. Those with strong networks of social support tend to stay healthier and happier throughout life, and tend to cope well with stress. Conversely, those with little support may find themselves more vulnerable, and those with conflicted and unsupportive relationships tend to fare even worse.

 

 10.Never Give up: Don’t give up on your situation be it alone or in a group; don’t stop working toward getting through it. Trust the process.Exercise daily,be spiritual,believe in God,keep praying, be thankful,dont blame others and maintain a sense of humour at all times and laugh out loud.A helpless person is someone who faces a problem but never takes an action to solve it while a self motivated person is someone who might be having the same problem but who is working eagerly to solve it.The only difference between the two is that the first does nothing and just watches what’s going on and suffers while the second takes actions as soon as he faces the problem and learns to deal with it.

 

There are still lots of points that can tell how to deal with emotions and be strong. But it is an individual experience and experiments that actually will help in times of need. Please seek for the guidance master within you and seek the truth.

  

There is a great truth in this universe that applies to everything. There is no corner of the world that it does not touch, no depth of the ocean that it does not find, no planet in space that it cannot reach. That truth applies to everyone and everything. That truth is impermanence. Nothing lasts for ever.